Daftwager Twitter: Day 41

Origin of the Mighty ParadigmDay 41:

 

07:00; Sometimes the dawn chorus depresses me. Then I remember; birds, the former dinosaurs, are just co-ordinating a mass attack upon hated mankind, we sons of monkeys, in their own secret languages.

08:00; Ask Open: didn’t she think it strange that I asked her to pickpocket her idol or that her idol dropped me from the Tower? She says, sleepily, that these were things she just assumed ‘you heroes’ did.

09:00; Should really take that as an insult, but instead take a kiss & some toast. Come to think of it, I called her my girlfriend. ‘Girl’ friend I’ve never liked; too childish. ‘Woman’ friend too cold. I prefer Open.

10:00; Reading purloined paper; Paradigm & The Deadly Light Shade foiled a bank caper, just before HAL-lelujah. Assume the switched tickets were handed over there. Super social lives are complicated.

11:00; The bank caper got a good review. Writer finishes, asking how this partnership between forces so unlike each other was forged. Would expect P & TDLS to be at each others throats. I stifle giggles.

12:00; Revué: HAL-lelujah: A Space Opera. ”Success Beyond the Stars” says Le Monde. ”All is Looking Bright” says Le Figaro. ”Two Suns in the Sky – Five Star Show” says Le Canard Enchainé. Puns.

13:00; Far too many supers masquerading as reporters these days if the broadsheets are using such puns. Why can’t they write blasé prose about themselves in the tabloids? I take my lunch at Le Chien Gris.

13:05; Typical. Finally eat at an eatery not run by firestarters or assassins and lunch is interrupted by Psylent Film and The Monochrone. My pret-a-manger sandwiches were ruined. Oh and someone is dying.

13:10; The Monochrone, robe & veil, in ‘sniffing out evil’ as she calls it – ‘Snort!’ They say hers is the face of a silent film star, one so beautiful men killed her for her. By ‘they’, I mean The Monochrone herself.

13:15; Intuitively telepathic; nothing nasal about it. With her opening pronouncement that “the most evil person in this room shall die this day!” everyone struggles not to think of their own little evils. Amateurs.

13:20; White collar criminals & petty rumour-mills all. I am no doubt the baddest man in this room. She is sniffing in my direction – quite complimentary!- when I lean over and turn on my little invisibility utility.

13:25; A mook is fingered just as Psylent Film comes in from lookout. They’re going to tear that man’s mind apart, then kill him! Action must be taken! I set up a few blank BOREs and sit back for the show.

13:30; Psylent Film, all in white and quite featureless, clamps a hand on the man’s head. They say he died when the Lumiere Brothers showed ‘Train Pulling Into A Station’. Violence in Cinema from the start. 1

3:35; PF’s other hand extends and images are projected onto the the far wall. Quite disturbing. Murder, rape, theft, adultery, wrath … the impromptu audience can’t quite watch, nor can they quite turn away.

13:40; With a cry of ”Vengeance for the People of Paris!” TM & PF toss their corpse aside and leave by the kitchens. Body hits my table; I save the fresh BORE imprints but the sandwiches are a tragic loss.

13:45; The gendarmes arrive and remove the mess. Should be a few hours until the body is in Morgue Ann’s morgue. My invisibility allows me to leave without any police questioning or having to pay the bill.

13:50; Why, you cry, haven’t these fiends been captured by the mighty Paradigm & The Deadly Light Shade! Caught by Les Jeans d’Armes! Citizen-Arrested by Les Jeunes d’Armes! They have, many times.

13:55; They are absurdly easy to catch. But, by the time their case comes round, demonstrations mount demanding the release of the murderers of murderers. Then they get out. Sometimes they get a parade.

14:00; Disapprove of such public approval. By contrast, the probable public reaction to the Saint Bright & Maxine Min affair, which even I must admit is sickening-sweet, would be to tar & feather those two.

15:00; Enter the offices of Le Figaro. Ask to see archives, in exchange for my eyewitness account of the most recent TM & PF ‘judgement’. Eager; I get archive & internet access while I wait for a reporter.

15:10; Video’s already up on Youtube – previous attacks also. I PrintView some stills of the murderers PF and TM have murdered, rapists they have mind-raped, thieves they have thought-stolen from. Gory.

15:20; The ‘Projectionist Protectors’, as they are called, speak in English in what clearly are their ‘performances’. That is why their noms du guerre are particularly poor puns; they’re playing to the big leagues.

15:30; It’s why few French supers, heroes or villains, use their French names. All want internationality – its a step towards the global groups, like Vigil, World Watchers and, of course, The Lunar Luminaries.

15:40; Projectionist Protector’s website; Youtube Youth can post images of their fellows committing crimes – report names and addresses for correction. Preferred Sicko’s site; same methods but a nicer font.

15:50; A lot of posts – a particular fan theory about a man in black sitting in the back of all these ‘performances’ has been debunked – apparently he wasn’t sitting in on this one. Fanon calls him ‘Peeping Tom’.

16:00; Check out conservative Le Figaro’s archives; the old folk are also for the Projectionist Protectors. That is why they get released all the time. Then the windows rattle and I know my interviewer is here.

16:10; He’ll have to change into his reporter’s disguise and, on a whim, I incorporate The Monochrone’s intuitive telepathy BORE into a blank BORE. Its not reading his mind, its a … map of his state of mind.

16:20; My interviewer will have no powers I can take mentally – all of his ‘abilities’ are muscular, he has little mentally in every sense – but I do wish to test out my new toy, and he seems like a perfect lab rat.

16:30; I finish as the door opens and, decked out in reporter’s tweed and horned rim glasses, is the Bretagne byline jockey Henri Jambé. Dear Lucifer, he even has his PRESS ID in his hatband. Utter drivel.

16:40; Give a rousing interview as British Tourist and Member of the Constabulary, P. I. Staker. I give a ringing endorsement of the facist methods of the French vigilantes; a little trouble for the folks at home.

16:50; I depart, printouts in hand. That was ‘reporter’ Excelsoar. TDLS & P have secret identities – I drew glasses on Excelsoar’s picture in the paper once, and recognised his twin Henri in the byline. Idiotic.

17:00; Can’t write worth a damn, but covers the super set ok. Real sweetheart him – tried to land an ailing plane while under the influence of tv physics. On Youtube video the plane seems to shatter like glass.

18:00; As expected – analysis suggests that none of Excelsoar’s strength, flight or invulnerability abilities are absorbable by BORE. Didn’t even read his thoughts – just his state of mind in his reporter persona.

19:00; There are severe limitations to The Monochrone’s mental telepathy – such is the way with ‘theme’ vaudevillain vigilantes. She suggests that she can smell evil, and people produce the ‘smell’. No details.

20:00; I sign in at the morgue as Dr. Quatloo. Scrubbing in to consult on forensic scientist Morgue Ann’s Cause of Death (on today’s victim obviously – everyone knows what Morgue Ann died of: Slit throat).

20:10; Morgue Ann – an unnamed demimondain killed during the Rue Morgue spree. Returned by revenant rituals, identifying & capturing her killer. Over time she has become a speaker for the French dead.

20:20; Know her London colleague, Raggedy Ann – ripped up by Jack the Ripper and stitched together with the parts of other streetwalkers by Rigour, Raggedy beat the Copper Copper to Jack’s capture.

20:30; The dead bury the dead and talk to ghosts. Afterall, a postmortem victim is as traumatised as a premortem victim, and they need to be interviewed and counselled by those who’ve been there, done it.

20:40; I don’t stare at the crooked neck or the sunglasses, and pass a small test. She has heard of my Whitby works during our Days of the Dead and is amiable that I make the first incision. Draw first blood.

20:50; She reads the victim’s name aloud, then burns that strip of paper. While I cut she talks to the air, and I am certain the victim is there. Heart and brain look like they’ve been run through a microwave …

21:00; She says he says he died with all his worst fears flashing across his mind. As the dead lie, I complete the autopsy, which agrees – extreme cardial and frontal lobe infarctions. They ‘scared’ him to death.

22:00; Think Morgue Ann would be on the side of these murdering murderers? No. Monochrone picked this victim as somebody nobody would mourn dying – same modus operandi as a demimondain killer.

22:30; Morgue Ann says the victim denies the projectionist’s accusations. As printout stills of guilt show him killing what, on closer inspection, is a currently-alive President N. Sarkozy, among others, I concur.

22:00; The Monochrone searched for any guilt, factual or fictional. She has found real murderers once or twice, much touted on their site, but TM and PF have been bagging fear fantasies rather than realities.

23:30; The victim, Frey Druss, felt guilty he wished these things. MA says he wonders if this is his punishment. MA can’t answer him. I say he had great temptations, which he resisted – FD didn’t deserve this.

00:00; Apparently he conceives of me as his avenger. Had he seen through my invisibility, he’d be singing a different tune. I return again to my own alive demimondain. I will have to introduce her to the Anns.

Origin of the Deadly Light Shade

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